Q:Why were we made?

A: To glorify God. (Children's Catechism)

We have had such a scare with our little girl due in March, and such a wonderful outcome that I must share with everyone how thankful we are that God listens to our prayers and has designed our baby so wonderfully.

Here's the history of the scare:

At our 20 week ultrasound, we found out we were having a girl and that our girl was measuring 10 days off her due date, placing her in the third percentile for her size. We went to see the specialist who changed our due date, and this put the baby in a normal size range for her age. Nothing to worry about.

Three weeks later I went back for a follow up and the specialist told me that she and my OB were not confident about changing my date, and after repeating the ultrasound, that the baby was still in the 3rd percentile and had been the whole pregnancy. Babies this small (with symmetrical growth, as our baby did) have about a 20% chance of having Downs, Trisomy 18 or 13. After doing much research and praying, I decided it was possible our baby could have these problems and I wanted to know. If our baby had Trisomy 18 or 13, she would not survive long after birth. I thought it would be much easier to know this ahead of time than to go through labor thinking I had a healthy child, only to have the child die soon after.

So, we scheduled the amniocentesis for the next week (Tuesday the 16th). It was a long week, but I am so thankful we were able to share our situation with a few friends and family and have their prayers support us and give us hope through this time. I was surprised at how calm I could be and how much hope I was given. Even on the day of the amnio, I became excited to see the rooms where I hope to give birth again.

I also struggled with what it would look like for me to trust God when he gives me a baby who has Trisomy 18 or 13, or a baby born with a disability. It seemed impossible to me; it seemed too scary. Denney was absolutely ok with having a special child, and that was strange for me to hear, and gave me hope knowing that at least one of us could see past the struggle of it. Yet, I came to have a peace with this too, though dealing with the idea and the reality would be two completely different things, I'm sure. It was wonderful to feel so secure in the hands of God to face a situation with minimal fear.

Oh man...the amnio was the most nerve wracking thing to me. I hope I never have a reason to have another. The procedure seems so much more risky than the numbers indicate. Right before they do the amnio, they run through the list of possible complications and I was freaking out (myself, on the inside, though Denney was visibly anxious to me). I heard the nurse mention rupture of membranes! Why didn't I have nightmares about that happening?!

We saw the baby on the ultrasound screen as they looked for a place to insert the needle; they looked for what seemed to be forever. Finally they found a spot behind the baby's head (yikes) and then we saw the needle on the ultrasound right next to the head. I felt as if any movement I made would send the baby straight into the needle. I didn't watch the needle on my belly at all, just the screen. As I'd hoped, it was over before I knew it. Needle in and out in about a minute. No baby/needle contact. No water breaking.

Our doctor said she didn't expect any complications, and we have had none! The baby did great, and I didn't move or pass out:)

Results expected in 48-72 hours. Emotionally Wednesday was great. Thursday had a bit more pressure on it, but the worst part was answering the phone when the genetic counselor called exactly 48 hours after the procedure.

Good news! Definitely no Downs or Trisomy 18 or 13. The full chromosomal screen to be back in a week, but the counselor says those usually confirm the same results. At this stage in the pregnancy, those three disorders (which are definitely ruled out) are about the only ones in which the baby would have survived. We were thrilled, and shared the news immediately with all who knew because the only thing we should do is glorify God with this news. There is also a chance the due date is off, not making this baby as small as they think she is. I was a 10th percentile baby, and we're thinking she takes after me.

It is so easy to forget how desperate I was, and think that there was no problem all along and that I wasn't saved from anything. But I want to remember how hard this could have been and how much grace I've been given. I don't deserve to be given a healthy baby...God is just loves us that much.

My parents made us (yes, made us) learn the Catechism. My brother learned the whole thing, and I never leaned the entire thing. I guess their expectations loosened by kid #2. But I am glad I know that I was made to glorify God, and this baby is made to glorify God. And that's what I'm gonna do.

You see...he made this baby. Isn't that amazing?